32. Still not out of the game

There are challenges in life.  (For instance, blogging for over fifteen straight hours while recovering from a back injury)

There are setbacks.

There will be highs and lows.

Stable doesn’t mean an unwavering path to the finish line.  Sanity is not a race, and most likely, even the sanest of us will often be on the scenic route to our final destination from time to time.

I am lucky enough to have long periods of stability where Martha and I don’t have to commune.  There are even some times when I don’t have to take medication at all.  These are nice breaks, but I try never to convince myself that I am “cured.”  I will always have to return to medication at some point.

And that is okay.  Admitting that I need assistance does not mean that I have failed my brain, or my brain has failed me, it just underlines the fact that I have a chronic disease that I must attend to as carefully as I would diabetes or a heart condition.

I am not out of the game, just because I may need medication or even hospitalization at some point in my life.

I do not dread these things most of the time, because if they are necessary, feeling distaste towards them won’t make them less necessary, it will just provide another roadblock in my recovery.

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