What about what I want?

I tend to spend a lot of time wondering and worrying about whether I’m living up to my potential.  Scratch that, because that’s a lie.

I spent a lot of time wondering and worry about whether or not I’m living up to what other people believe is my potential.  There it is.

The truth is, I probably could do anything I put my mind to.  I learn easily and well.  I test extremely well.  If I am motivated, I am unstoppable.    The only person that ever really tries to get in my way is, well, me.  And I can usually shut me up with the promise of a good scone.

So why, on paper, does it look like I haven’t done much with that potential to succeed?  I spend countless hours worrying that I won’t be seen as accomplished enough, cool enough, but that  doesn’t seem to get me motivated.

While I was slicing potatoes for a gratin, it occurred to me.  I am as successful as I really want to be right now.  I am a mother, wife, and friend.  I’m a damn good cook.  I’m usually patient and often kind.  I am beginning to reconnect with my writing (despite a four day absence here, sorry, y’all).  I am reading more, creating more, slowing down more often to be so fucking thankful that I can barely breathe for the beauty of it.  Why wouldn’t that be an absolutely beautiful definition of success?

It is.  So … goals.

 

  • Cook amazing food.
  • Write honest words.
  • Value and trust my own definition of success.
  • Be fluid enough to let the three above goals evolve and change as needed.
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3 thoughts on “What about what I want?

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